No, this is not your typical fitness blogger Christmas wish list.
I’m not going to throw up a bunch of links for healthy and fitness-y type things and tell you what to buy for all of the fit fanatics in your life. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… I’ve written a few of those here and here. And there are a LOT of good things out there this year in the fitness world *Cough Cough — the entire NB Women catalogue — **Cough, Cough.
But I’m going to do something a little bit different this year. See, I have many wishes when it comes to health and fitness, and many of them go far, far beyond which crops to buy or which are my favorite running shoes.
Although these are my favorites right now.. just saying
So stick around for a non-traditional type of Christmas Wish List.
This year for Christmas, I wish…
- That more clothing manufacturers would make women’s shirts that will house some serious deltoids (or as Neghar Fonooni would say, Delts of Doom). Seriously, I sometimes have to buy a size up just for my shoulders. Let’s give these delts some room to breathe!
- For more people to buy into the fact that femininity and strength do not have to be mutually exclusive. I love my nails looking nice just as much as I love me some chalky hands and lifting calluses. I enjoy dresses and getting my hair done as much as strapping on my weight belt and pulling some heavy weight. It’s not one or the other — it’s one big, dainty, pretty, muscular, strong, sweaty package. And it all fits quite nicely together, if I do say so myself!
- For women’s magazines to stop shoving articles in our faces about minimizing your butt. No I do not want a smaller butt, thank you very much! It’s about time we start to embrace the glutes and realize that big ol’ butts are not going anywhere. It’s the age of the glute, and that brings me to my next point..
- For jeans manufacturers to understand that Glutes are IN! Now, we have come a long way in this category, with many brands now touting “curvy” lines, which honestly is all I can buy for jeans unless I want a massive waist gap. Despite this, there is still a long way to go. Jeans that will house beastly quads and glutes without stretching and sagging after one wear? I’m still waiting.
- For the phrase “but I don’t want to get bulky” to become illegal. Can we stop saying this? Can we just let this myth go to the big farm in the sky where my cat Sandy disappeared to when I was about 12? Actually, I take that back. Sandy doesn’t want that crazy phrase up there either. Let’s just get rid of it all together. Poof!
- For every woman to pick up a barbell at least once. Give it a chance. Feel the empowerment and the exhilaration of lifting something that many people think that you can’t lift. If you don’t love it, that’s ok. Just try.
- For strong women to become the norm, not the exception. Let’s take over the weight room, ladies! Let’s make the guys fight for a spot at that bench, because we deserve to be there just as much as he does. Oh, the weight room is filled with ladies again? Move along, nothing to see here.
- For every elliptical machine to die a slow, torturous death. Seriously, I hate those things.
- To revoke the certification of every personal trainer who keeps women relegated to the “pink weight” section of 5 lb and below, because they believe that females shouldn’t lift more than that. Or at the very least, can we give them all a crash course in Cut The Bullsh*t?
She’s actually the worst. THE WORST.
- To make every women’s magazine writer/fit professional publicly apologize for ever uttering the phrase “this move will create longer, leaner muscles” in relation to any exercise. It’s science, people, you simply can not lengthen your muscles — no, (spoiler alert) not even with pink weights!
And last but not least…
- For the gym to be a welcoming place for all, beginners and advanced alike. No douchey gym-bro attitudes allowed, thank you very much! We’re all in this for the same reasons pretty much, and the last thing we need is to intimidate new people before they even step through those doors for their first workout. Come one, come all, sling some iron, throw some chalk around, and let’s do this thing!
Happy Holidays everyone… What would you add to this non-traditional Christmas Wish List?